Mona Barbera
Relationship Advice
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Bring Back the Spark
Recession Proof Your Marriage
For Women Only: Affair Proof Your Marriage
Do a "Do-Over" and Get Back on Track
Giving Better Back
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Recession Proof Your Marriage

Financial challenges bring relationship stress. Now, more than ever, you need to be a functioning, adaptive, creative team with your spouse. You need to be able to talk about saving vs. spending, risk vs. security, and make difficult choices about what you can and canít do. You might have to adapt to spending more time together or downsizing your dreams and plans. You have no control over outside stresses, but you do have control over the quality of emotional support and communication between you. .

Here ís how you can recession-proof your marriage.

1. Make sure you are appreciating each other. Give at least seven times more appreciation than criticism. Whenever you are tempted to complain or give feedback, stop and wait til you have initiated seven positive experiences. Even if you arenít getting appreation, give it ñ you might find it coming back to you!

2. Decide to do what YOU can do when there are disruptions. When you get into a negative rut, look 100% at what you are doing. Get some space from the critical, blaming thoughts in your head, and look at your own connection, curiosity, and calm. Put your focus where you have control and influence: yourself.

3. Give better back than you feel you are getting. You may have valid complaints about your partnerís behavior. Read more about giving better back here.

4. Give feedback only when you are calm, connected, and curious ñ and prepare to stay that way when you donít get the ideal response. Read more about feedback.


Mona Barbara Photo Mona Barbera
Dr. Mona is a psychologist, couples therapist, couples workshop leader, speaker, and the author of Bring Yourself to Love: How Couples Can Turn Disconnection into Intimacy.
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